And Another Sign

Something happened today at work that just got me .... I can't even really describe my feelings .. but it seems to be a sign that maybe ... its time ... to really ... really ... do what I have to do.

I want to do more.
I need to do more.
I want to do what I really want to do.

It has come to a point where I've had discussions with co-workers that we are just lucky to have a job, but not really happy ... happy ... but not ... really happy.

I want to count my blessings, but what I really want is ... my bliss.

I might have to wait for a third sign ... and it will all make more sense to me.

The Number 40

In less than 3 months I will be turning 40 !!

I know I keep writing about the BIG 4 - 0 …. and complaining how I'm dreading in, but today, at church … the priest spoke about how significant the number 40 was.

It rained for 40 days and 40 nights when God wanted to cleanse the world and start over.

Jesus fasted for 40 days

Jesus was seen 40 days after his crucifixion.

The priest talked about renewal and cleansing.

So maybe I shouldn't be too sad about turning 40.

Six Four Zero

In SIX months I will be turning FORTY !!

I'm just absolutely dreading that birthday.

I wanted to accomplish a lot by that day … and now … I feel that these last TEN years were just a waste of time … I should have done things … but I didn't.

I do want to mention … this whole dread … has much to do career wise.

I also want to have traveled the world.
I also want to have been a homeowner by now.

I'm sad.
Sad.
Sad.
Sad.

Over Qualified

Nope.

It didn't happen.

I am Over Qualified.

At least I tired.

:-(

The 14th Year

Today is the 14th anniversary of my dads death.

I keep thinking he died young.  He was just 60 years old.  Just 17 days shy of his 61st birthday.

I had just read an article about how the age of 65 was too early to retire.  I kinda wish my dad retired at age 60.  Maybe he and my mom would have been able to go on a vacation to Europe.

Maybe if Oct. 19th, 1999 would still have been the day he would die ... he would have still had a year (almost) to be a retired man.

I think about how he would have had time to travel the world.  I could picture my mom and him riding the gondola in Venice, the two of them eating crepes in Paris, the two of them marveling the Sistine Chapel in Rome, and pretending to hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Some days at work ... I think ... what would my dad do?  I think he worked to hard.  He liked his Jack Daniels and his Benson & Hedges.  I wonder how much longer he would have worked.  Would he have retired at 65??  If he was doing something else ... would he have been less stressed and healthier?

Today marks 10 years and 7 months of me working at JOB ... not at a CAREER.  Everyday I wake up and think ... IS THIS ALL THERE IS??  I feel like if my dad had been alive these past 14 years, he and my mom would have had these fabulous adventures.  He would tell me to QUIT YOUR JOB AND TRAVEL THE WORLD.

Not really sure though.

I think about all these crazy things happening in the world today ... these things might actually have stressed him out & anger him.

Dad ... if you can ... somehow ... during the Super Lotto draw ... find a way for me to win ... and of course several others ... and then I could take that trip around the world ... the trip I wish that you an mom could have had.

I miss you.

Pie Are Squared

It's Sunday today ... and I keep wondering if all the coincidences happening in my life is coming from God.

First of all ... I really should be thinking of other things rather than what I have been thinking lately while I'm at church.

Sorry God.  Really Sorry.  That's why I've been doing the rosary afterwards.  Sorry.

There are two sides to this.

1.  I think you are telling me ... no.
2.  I think you are telling me ... it is going to be soon, but not today.

I'm just not really sure.  But ... I think I will have some pie with my Mocha Frappe.

Notting Hill House

Right now I'm 38 years and 4 months.

I've spent 10 years in Burbank.

I've spent 2 years in Boston.

I've spent 1 year in Fullerton.

I've spent 1 year in Union City.


I need to move.
Away From California.
Away From U.S.

I know it's been awhile since I've done a dream house search online ... for some reason ... I've always wanted to go to the U.K. ... specifically in Notting Hill (loved the movie).

For $6,409,120  this 4-bedroom house could be mine.

Old Friends

There are days that I hate finding out new information about old friends.

Just this past week I found out that one person just had a baby, another person got married for the SECOND time, and another person got divorced for the SECOND time.  Someone had just bought their first home ... someone just sold their current home to fly back to their hometown.

These old friends are people that I've met during the past 10 years of my life.

Soo much has happened to them and I feel that nothing has really happened in my life.  The most exciting thing for me was the Europe trip.

I've just come home from church with a smile on my face ... the priest had just told us a story of a woman who started as poor and had a small home salon ... and after many years became very successful ... finally was able to open a salon in Beverly Hills (i don't know how true this story is).  She had ordered flowers for the grand opening ... when it was delivered ... she was upset that she received the wrong delivery ... it was intended for a funeral ... "With Deepest Sympathy" ... she called the florist and was very upset.  The florist basically told the woman to just accept that she got the wrong delivery. She should be happy that she is a success, that she has her new shop, and that she has all of the clients she has for a successful business.  The florist also said that she should be happy ... somewhere in a funeral... her flowers with her original message .... will be displayed for all to see.

"Best Wishes On Your New Location"

HA !!  Well ... here's hoping that person went to heaven.

Now ... back to those old friends.

I need some kind of change in my life.  I'm not talking about getting married, or divorce, or having a baby.  I can't afford buying a new home (no where near that financially).

I want to move.  Not just move out of this studio apartment.  Maybe away from California.  Maybe to Europe.  Maybe just quit my job and travel.

These old friends ... and their stories ... happy and sad .... big life changes ... I need that.

Believe

I believe that this year, I will win the BIG LOTTERY JACKPOT!

Where In The World Is Safe?

I keep telling myself that I should stop reading and watching the news.  It seems like the only news I hear is that

The world is full of evil people!

Do I still want to travel the world?

Yes ... ofcourse ... but I don't know how safe I'll feel.

There are soo many news stories of rapes and murder ... what the hell is happing?

India ... not safe
Turkey ... not safe
Brazil ... not safe

I still want to go to those places .. but I will not trust anyone.

10 Years

I woke up this morning thinking ...

wow, I've had this job for 10 years!

10 years.

I'm lucky that I've been employed for 10 years.
I'm lucky that I've had full time income for 10 years.

But I'm just like soo many that has a job that only pay the bills.

But I'm just living paycheck to paycheck.

I see people come by ... and when they say "wow, you're still here!"
I get annoyed and wish I was somewhere else!

Do they wish I was off on another adventure?

This trip to Europe has me thinking .. and what I'm thinking I hope happens sooner rather than later.

38 For A Month

I've been 38 for a whole month !!

So far ... the most exciting thing that has happened in my life is the Europe trip.  Rome, Pisa, Venice, Paris.  Those are the only exciting places I've been to in my life.

I feel that I want too much, hope too much, but in reality ... I can't even get something that I need.

I want to travel.  Wouldn't it be wonderful just to travel.

Travel. Read. Write.

Papal Wednesday

The Media

The Crowd

The Pope

First and Last

It's the first day of the last month of the year.

This year has gone by really fast, and I'm somewhat disappointed that I'm "stuck" at the current state I'm in ... and that I haven't accomplished some of the things I wanted to do this year.

I'm nowhere near the "100 Books in 2012" goal ~

Then there is the other stuff ... the really, really, really important stuff.  I feel that because of "this-and-that" I've got to do something really soon, I'm really tired of how I feel about things ... and I can't let another year go by again.

Power Ball Dreams

I really wish California also participated in the POWER BALL drawings!!

Things I would do if I could buy a ticket (AND WIN):

1.  Give several millions to the bros & sisters
2.  Buy House (California, New York, London, Paris)
3.  Buy VW Beetle
4.  Give to Charity
5.  Around The World Travel
6.  Open a Bookstore

The 12th Year

Twelve years ago today ... my dad had a heart attack and died.

I wonder if he was still alive today, would it just be my mom & dad going to Europe to celebrate my moms 80th birthday.

Would they have celebrated her 75th birthday going to Rome?
Would they have celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary (5 years ago) in Paris?

I pray that he will be with us.

In Rome.
In Pisa.
In Venice.
In Paris.

I miss you dad.

Happy Eight Years!!

Dear Blog,

Happy 8th year to the both of us!

I wish we had more happy moments than sad.  I wish our dreams have come true by now.  But we are still alive, we still have our health, we still have a job that pays the bills.

I want to still be hopeful.

The dream to be writing for Awesome Show has not come true yet.  I'm just disappointed about the quality of shows in TV, will there be anything awesome anymore??

The novel is yet to be completely finished.  Reading stories of authors that they got their lucky break, just when they've given up has given me hope.

Soon .....

Today, My Life Will Change!!

$540 MILLION

Estimated Cash Value: $389,800,000

Estimated After Tax: $292,350,000

Just thinking about this money, I already know what I want to get for myself. But I just feel really good that all this money ... I can HELP A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE. And honestly ... wouldn't if be nice if MULTIPLE people won.

The best things in life are free
But you can keep 'em for the birds and bees;
Now give me money, (that's what I want) that's what I want,(That's what I want) That's what I want (That's what I want) yeah, That's what I want.
Barrett Strong

My family ... MY LARGE FAMILY ... we will all have financial freedom. My 79 year old mom will finally be able to see Rome ... travel the world ...

I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad
Buy all of the things I never had
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen
Give away a few Mercedes like here lady have this
And last but not least grant somebody their last wish
Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
For when I’m a billionaire
Oh oooh oh oooh for when I’m a Billionaire
Travie McCoy

And I'll still work .. I still want to own a bookstore ... I'll have more time to write, more time to read, more time to watch movies and TV shows ... but I'll still have my bookstore.

Imagine
Cash cold, that's what I need
I want money, lots and lots of money
I want the pie in the sky
I want money, lots and lots of money
So don't be asking me why
I wanna be rich, ohh
I wanna be rich, ohh
I wanna be rich, ohh
I wanna be rich for a little love, peace and happiness
Calloway

It's A Whole Lot Of Cash

Tuesday, March 20 Jackpot

$241 MILLION

Estimated Cash Value: $170,900,000

Estimated After Taxes: $128,175,000


1. Money To Charities

2. Brothers & Sisters

3. House

4. Car

5. Own A Bookstore

6. Travel

Nine

It's been nine years ~